Sunday 29 June 2008

Sunday 29th June - Day 144

Still 10,3 today, was actually 10,4 yesterday! Feeling a little bunged up so i think im a little constipated. Will use a senokot max as a last resort...

Got a BBQ today at ours with our 'holiday gang'. Only 6 days to go... Cant believe it has come round so fast. Booked this holiday at the end of Jan 2008 and started CD at the beginning of Feb 2008. Thank the lord we booked the group holiday i say! Doubt i would've lost 4 stone otherwise...

So am torn between ss'ing or having a chicken breast or 2. Really want to stick to ss 100% but feel i may get led astray. I will try be strong but if all else fails i will have plain chicken breast and nothing else!!!!!!

Bought some lovely holiday clothes this weekend. Alot of size 10 dresses!!!! woo hoo...
But am still a size 16 bikini bottom (and 10 top lol... pancake huh???). Still very much a pear shape so maybe some exercise is in order when we get back from hols and try to tone up my legs a little.

So wish me luck for today aarrghhhhh... Keep reminding myself only 6 days and i can eat what i like!

Friday 27 June 2008

Friday 27th June - Day 142

10,3 today and 8 days to go... so 4lbs til we see the 9's!!!!! yippeeee....

still sticking to ss 100% and almost (very nearly) caved in last night. other half suggested a takeaway and i said 'yeah doner meat please'. then took a second to get into my pjs and jumped on scales and saw 10,4 yesterday evening (normally a few lbs heavier than the morning about 7pm).

i then decided that if i was gonna see 10,3 today then doner meat was a no no. ok i still be in ketosis BUT the salt in the meat would have meant water retention and certainly not a loss of another lb so i am glad i held back and said no to doner meat!

phew...

so 8 days to go and this time next week i shall be getting ready to go on hols!!!! whoop whoop...
really really really wanna be in 9's so i am trying so hard to stick to ss for the next week. who knows how long this dedication will last...

Tuesday 24 June 2008

Tuesday 24th June - Day 139

10,4 today!!!!!!!!!! thats 9lbs in 6 days.

only 3lbs til 4 stone lost (10,1)... and 5lbs til i am in 9's... and 7lbs til 9,11 and BMI of 25.

still feeling (fairly) positive, i am taking this re-start one day at a time as i know how easily i can be swayed and convinced that eating is ok.

so can i lose 5lbs in the next 11 days...? i will certainly try.

Monday 23 June 2008

Monday 23rd June - Day 138

12 days to go and i am now the lowest ive been since 2003/2004.

10,5 today!!!!!!!!!

was 10,13 last wednesday so 8lbs off in 5 days... this is why we do CD/SS!
I am feeling very positive and like my faith in CD has been restored.

i so want to get into the 9's for my holiday, and this is what is motivating me to stick to it 100%. even 9,13 and 3/4 would be fine lol...

the weekend was a tough one and food was on my mind all weekend. BUT i managed to restrain myself and this feels much better than eating in the long run.

so 12 days and 6lbs to lose, its gonna be tight so need to get on with the water guzzling....

Wednesday 18th June - Day 133

So feeling very refreshed mentally (feeling yuk physically) and ready to begin a re-start.

After my failed attempt to re-start on monday i need to realise what triggers a binge. I have told my other half not to comment on me and my diet. If i break it then it is my choice and he should not ask if i am on/off ss and if i want a chinese/ indian etc.

I have also made the decision to only ss until i go on holiday and then will do a low cal/ low carb plan when i get back. This will motivate me more to stick to ss knowing i dont need to do the shakes for much longer. I will get my life back when we get back from Turkey yay!

So heres to a countdown to Turkey, will she / wont she be able to ss until 4th July? watch this space... Oh and scales say 10,13!

Tuesday 17th June - Day 132

so i lasted a day on my re-start... why oh why cant i get back into it???????

12 weeks was a piece of piss first time round now i cant even do a day!
i guess to same level of motivation just is'nt there when you have less weight to shift :-(

only had chicken but still why did i do it????

this is how it happened;

other half came home early yesterday afternoon and said 'you still doing shakes?', lol even he knows i cant last a whole day (only started this morning!). i said why? he said 'just wondered if you wanted a chinese tonight?'....aarrgghhhh!

so this put ideas in my head for the rest of the day and 'all' evening i was drooling and mulling over the idea of breaking the diet but managed to say no and only had some chicken and salad leaves. not too bad i guess... BUT after the chicken i REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to eat more. its like that voice in your head that leads to a binge... oh well ive f****ed up so may as well carry on eating. but as there was no crap in the house i couldnt carry on eating... thankfully!

sooooo this morning i wake up feeling like crap but also feeling like my 'binge' was not complete! i hadnt f***ed up enough to be able to get back on track. i needed to eat more to get back onto ss... weird i know! so i went to tesco this morning and got a pain au chocolat and some cadburys choc and a cheese ploughmans sarnie and some jaffa cakes!!!! yikes...

had to get this idea of cheating out of the way and get my head back onto SS, cant explain it really. but it was like my cheat on monday was not a real cheat so i had to turn it into a full blow-out in order to justify it!

also had fish and chips tonight... feel yukky now! but also feel like i can get back on track tomorrow as i have eaten enough to warrant coming off ss... hope this makes sense!

Monday 16 June 2008

Monday 16th June - Day 131

Oops a daisy... messed up on Saturday (my birthday) and Sunday!!!
Had an indian takeaway after being 'good' all day and having shakes for breakfast and lunch, then again on sunday had another takeaway for tea after being 'good' all day.

Why oh why do i do it????
Nevermind, moving onwards. Today is a new day. Can still get into 9's for my holiday if i am 100% committed to ss'ing.

Scales say 10,12 but i am guessing water is a good 4lbs of this, i hope!!!
So 13lbs to get rid of in 19 days, it is gonna be tough but i am feeling positive for now...

Aaaaarrrgghhhhh, just wanted to scream!

Thursday 12 June 2008

Thursday 12th June - Day 127

10,11 today... gain coming off slowly and surely (a bit slow for my liking but hey ho).

my bday on saturday and i cant even have a meal or drink to celebrate boo hoo hoo... On the plus side me and boyf are off shopping to get some holiday clothes. This should be enough to keep me on track, especially trying bikinis on!!!!!!!! aarrgghhhh...

still ss'ing 100% but evenings are awful. i really really really want to eat! not long now though, 3 weeks tomorrow until we are off. Yikes!

should def be in ketosis now (day 3) and i dont feel hungry so should be plain sailing from now on, we can live in hope anyway.

i keep wondering how much i can actually lose in 3 weeks and whether or not 3 weeks can really truly make a difference??? maybe this is me convincing myself to eat and that im actually wasting my time doing ss for 3 weeks before my hols lol... think ive got a naughty devil on my shoulder telling me to eat!

although when i began this diet (ss) i did lose 28lbs in my first 4 weeks. Sounds crazy doesnt it? 2 stone in 4 weeks??? Must've been alot of water too im guessing...
i hope i have lots of water in me this time too and can lose at least 12lbs in 3 weeks (well 3.5 to be precise). thats 4lbs a week... and would mean getting into the 9's for my holiday. must keep this in mind and hopefully keep focused.

keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!!!!!

Wednesday 11 June 2008

Wednesday 11th June - Day 126

Phew 10, 12 today... much much better than 11,4! Almost had a heart failure when i stood on scales yesterday!!!

So onwards and downwards. Hope this weight gain comes off quickly. 3 weeks friday until we go away and i have 13lb until i get into 9's.

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have had my fave hot choc mint so far and am about to start on the water. Had 4l yesterday so will try to match or increase this today.

Not feeling great today. Feel grumpy, hungry and cold...
BUT on the plus side i did manage to do a day of ss'ing yesterday despite my partner asking if i wanted fish'n'chips! He was'nt sure if i had started back on my shakes... bastard lol!

I gave it some thought for an hour or so but managed to say NO!

Its my bday on Saturday and we always pop into London for the day on out bdays... Hope i can ss all day while out shopping! Fingers crossed all the holiday shopping for bikinis inspires me to keep going...

Tuesday 11th June - Day 125

aaarrgghhhhhhh 11,4 today!!!!!!!!!!!!

bloody hell....

enough said...lol!

back on cd ss today. have had 3 tetras today, one made into ice cream!
25 days of ss'ing until Turkey so i must remain strong.

here we go must get into 9's for my bikini's sake!

Monday 9th June - Day 124

Back from CP and feel mahoosive!!!!!!!!!!!

All my clothes still fit fine but i feel soooo bloated... I have admittedly eaten everything this weekend!
For example, a cooked breakfast this morning before we left CP... Burger and chips last night, walkers sensations (big bag!) and lots of choc! The list goes on but you get the idea...

I will weigh myself tomorrow to see the extent of the damage. I know alot of it will be water but its water which must go and FAST!

But for today the 'bad' eating will continue, so i am finishing some pick'n'mix from CP and we are off to a Wetherspoons for tea (prob another burger!). Oh and maybe some ice cream too...

Wish me luck for re-joining the CD wagon!!!!!

Friday 6th June - Day 121

Off to Center Parcs today, have been failing miserably to stick to SS 100%...

Went shopping on Wednesday and came out of the car park lift and almost mugged a guy eating pick and mix!!! Called my partner and he said why not go and get something 'good' to eat so it doesnt lead to a binge... Well my 'good' food was a Millies Cookie!!!! This then led to a very healthy veggie chilli for tea... And then went to my Mums last night and ate a chinese... Oh my god!

This always happens before a holiday/ break. The holiday mode starts early! I always have good intentions of limiting my days off but then holiday fever takes over!

So today i am off to Center Parcs today for a 4 day weekend. I have had this 4 day break from CD planned since i began so i will eat/ drink what i want. I will deal with the gain when i am back on tuesday.

I will still have 25 days of ss'ing until i go to Turkey, i MUST get into 9's for Turkey!!!!